


Pretense

by Immawritesomeshit



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket (Anime 2001), Fruits Basket (Anime 2019), Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 03:35:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20717438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Immawritesomeshit/pseuds/Immawritesomeshit
Summary: A what if story.Kyo, in the same place as Kazuma's grandfather, resigned to his fate and lamenting her's."But did that really happen? Or was lonliness just romanticizing the past? Covering the truth with a veil of might haves and maybes and all the other words dreams were made of?"





	Pretense

Kyo wondered if he would someday forget the colour of the sky. Its been a while since he had last been outside, after all.

One or two of the other zodiacs used to come visit him at odd intervals initially. The rooms used to light up with banter and laughter, and he would think it's not that bad. It's not unbearable.

But did that really happen? Or was lonliness just romanticizing the past? Covering the truth with a veil of _might haves_ and _maybes_ and all the other words dreams were made of?

He, at the least, wanted to believe in the power of her smile.

The kind of smile that thawed any heart, eventually if not all at once. And you would smile back before you notice it. Tohru was magic like that.

_Was._

He dragged himself to the tiny dining table, made just for one person. Just right.

(They used to put newspapers on the floor when too many people visited him. Tohru would take out her home-made desserts, Momiji would smuggle in tea, and Yuki would make sure it was really just tea.)

His dinner was there, better food than many could have boasted of. But it was cold.

Cold, because his food was an afterthought in that house now.

(Kagura used to make sure they fed him in time. She would scold the maids, so much that they would still be grumbling when they showed up at his place. He would have to bite his lips to hide a smile.)

He took one spoonful, chewed it carefully, still comparing it with her food. No matter how many years had passed, that memory still lingered, in both his tongue and his heart.

(Tohru would religiously avoid the food he hated. Yuki always teased him about it, calling him a baby, and that started almost every fight. But right now, if it were made by Tohru, he would have swallowed anything.)

Hatori visited him last christmas when he caught a cold so bad that his coughing could be heard outside. He had noticed and treated him out of his own violation- the last favour he offered.

(_Why aren't you letting her see you any more?_ He had asked, and Kyo had remained silent. He didn't know the answer. But it was necessary that she never see him again.)

Yuki was the last zodiac member that talked to him face to face. Even Kagura had disappeared from his side- she had married and moved away. He was happy for that. She was the happiest he had ever seen her.

Yuki had forced himself into the room one night, half crazed.

(_Why won't you let her see you?_ He cried. _She looks so lifeless- why do you subject her to this? Why can't she be with you?_  
And Kyo had finally found the words.   
_I want her to move on,_ he said._ I want her to forget me and live her life as she wants, for herself._)

Yuki had never returned. He never saw Tohru again.

But she dominated his dreams. She would appear the moment he closed his eyes. Thoughts of her would dominate every idle moment.

So he kept himself busy. Training, fighting, practicing all by himself. Never resting, because resting let the mind wander, and his mind wandered only to her.

Exerting himself to the limit, until the point where he would black out the moment his head touched a pillow.

But he would still wake up to her name on his lips. Her smile in his mind.

The lonliness only made his love stronger. There was nothing to distract him from what he felt.

(Tohru punching him on the arm, yelling _right straight,_ trying so hard to indulge his interests)

Some days he fantasized about what would happen if he escaped. If he ran away and never looked back.

(Tohru softly telling him that he had a plum on his back, and that thats why he couldn't see his own good qualities.)

Some days he longed to end it all, because they could not keep his spirit locked in a physical prison.   
But that would mean the birth of another child into a cursed life, and he would rather live till he withered than subject another innocent to this fate.

(Tohru blushing when their fingers accidentally touched, and stayed in contact for a second too long.)

The fact that Tohru was still alive somewhere, touching more people with her love, was more than enough for him.

(_Please take care of her,_ he had begged Yuki when he got up to leave. The boy had turned to him, anger in his gaze, as he informed him that he already had a lover now.

While leaving, Yuki muttered, _besides, you're the only one she wants._

And Kyo pretended he didn't hear__.)

**Author's Note:**

> Drowning in angst while waiting for Furuba 2020!


End file.
